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Joke of the Day

"Why do cows have hooves? Because they lac-tose!"

"You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower."

"If you meet someone who believes obesity is genetic, there is a 100% chance they've consumed a #3 at McDonald's in the past 24 hours."

"FACT: Once he became a knight, Sir Ian McKellen could only move in an ""L"""

"Why did the Baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a poo"

"I never know what to do with my hands during sex. I just end up snapping my fingers along with the rhythm."

"You put 2 fingers in... Maybe 3 if it's big enough... Oh yeah.... Now that's how you wash a mug."

"Why are sailors so impatient when they get on land? Because they're tired of waiting in the rhumb line."

"Dating is like playing musical chairs. Somewhere between 25&30 the music stopped& everyone grabbed a husband. I must've been in the bathroom"

"I tried to donate a kidney once... ...they wouldn't take it though because I wouldn't tell them where I got it."