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Joke of the Day

"A photon checks into a hotel. The bellhop says ""can I take your bags?"" ""No,"" she answers, ""I'm traveling light."" *(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*"

"*stands up and screams* ""PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!"" *gets thrown out of Easter service during sermon of the resurrection*"

"Why don't North Koreans go to heaven? because they have no Seoul"

"Perfect example of good & Bad luck Wind blows a girls skirts high (Good luck) At the same time dust falls into the boys eyes (Bad luck)"

"What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower? A bat mat."

"TIL that a baby can recognize its mother's heartbeat due to how much time they spent inside their mom I can also recognize your mom's heartbeat."

"When I get home the first thing I'm going to do is rip my wife's panties off. Because they're too small and the elastic is killing me."

"two muffins were in an oven. one muffin turns to the other muffin and says ""its hot in here "" the second muffin turns to the first muffin and says "" holy shit a talking muffin"""

"Him: It should be illegal for white people to wear dreads. Me: Are you Italian, my brother? Him: No. Me: Then no more pizza for you."

"Newsreader: Police are asking anyone with any information- Me: [shouting at TV] You lose 90% of your heat from your head"