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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when you shoot 49 hot loads in people at a gay bar? An Orlando ~~black~~ *white* sheet party..."

"Donald Trump That's the whole joke."

"Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey? The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece."

"People keep asking me how I'm doing since moving to North Korea Eh, can't complain."

"I've decided to run a marathon for charity. I didn't want to do it at first but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning"

"My phone just replaced the word ""killed"" with ""kilt."" Well plaid, phone... Well plaid."

"Mrs. A was my favorite teacher in grade school. She was by far the nicest of all of the staph at school."

"Kid, if you don't know whether your Batman costume is pre or post reboot continuity, you don't deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn't cry."

"My parents would hide fruit roll ups on top of the refrigerator where I couldn't reach them. And leave chemicals under the sink."

"TRUTHFUL TUESDAY: When my son was 7 he pissed me off so badly I pressed all the elevator buttons knowing every new rider would blame him."