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Joke of the Day

"TRUTHFUL TUESDAY: When my son was 7 he pissed me off so badly I pressed all the elevator buttons knowing every new rider would blame him."

"A Czech one: God is carrying a bag of dicks... ...when he suddenly trips over a rock and all the dicks fall out. He gets pissed off: ""I'm not going to pick them up, Prague's going to be here!"""

"9/11 was an inside job! 10 did it"

"Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: ""Mother said there would be knights like this."""

"When ur butt's wet It's called buttsweat"

"Ever tried anal sex? Its fucking shit."

"Why are fish no good at tennis? They don't like to get too close to the net!"

"If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America"

"I wanna see Le Pan Quotidien fight Au Bon Pain in a pretentious chain restaurant cage match & the winner gets to fight Pret-a-Manger."

"The doctor gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him. Judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved."