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Joke of the Day

"at Nike advertising meeting I need a slogan for these shoes by the end of the day. I don't care how it gets done just do it..hold up a sec"

"I'm definitely the most successful guy in this dollar store. Oh, wait. That guy has a tuxedo t-shirt. I'm the second most successful guy."

"Need an Ark? I Noah guy."

"They say I have the legs of a dancer.. but until they find the rest of the body the cops have got nothing on me man!"

"Why can't the armless girl comb? Because she already had cancer."

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves."

"What do you call it when a banana eats another banana? Canabananalism EDIT: Thanks for all the support, only my second reddit post and I'm surprised this got as many upvote a as it did!"

"Why did the insomniac get arrested? He resisted a rest."

"No Smoking Salesgirl : Sir no smoking in the shop. Man : But i purchased cigarette from your shop. Salesgirl : Sir we sell Condoms too, but it doesn't mean u start Fucking us ."

"Rest areas are weird. The guy in the stall next to me has four feet."