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Joke of the Day

"*watches movie* *sees a scene with full frontal male nudity* *pauses for three months*"

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"Can't believe I've already spent $500 on mayonnaise this year."
"Chuck Norris just says ""no"" to drugs. If he said ""yes"", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure."
"A photon goes to a hotel... He arrives and the clerk says, ""Sir may I take your luggage"" the photon then replies, ""No, I'm traveling light"""
"2 bats hanging on a branch Two bats are hanging upside down on a branch. One asks the other, ""Do you recall your worst day last year?"" The other responds, ""Yes, the day I had diarrhea!"""
"My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video."
"What does a Scottish cat say? Mee yew!"
"Having intense back pain atm It's no joke"
"What's a redditors favorite governing body? The Fedoral Government."
"I took my prostate exam the other day and... So just last week I went for my first prostate exam. It was really difficult and I couldn't answer most of the questions"