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Joke of the Day

"My friend's wife is so controlling. When they're together, he talks like he's filming a hostage video."

"What is brown and screams? Stevie Wonder when he answers the iron."

"Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time"

"Meanwhile in business news... ...balloon prices are plummeting. Experts are putting it down to a poor inflation rate"

"What's better than winning a Silver Medal at the Paralympics? Not being disabled."

"[meets a cute girl from Scotland] ""Ummm hi your people make fantastic tape"""

"New Year New Joke Friend: Where do you see yourself in 4 years? Me: I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision."

"What did Hitler do to lose weight? He went on a Jews cleanse."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water?... You're gonna have to give me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be on the boat!"