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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris just says ""no"" to drugs. If he said ""yes"", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure."

"Why do people like Hillary Clinton? When she can't even stand herself?"

"So I've got this friend Dan. But when Dan gets mad, he seems kinda girly. Because when Dan gets mad, *Danielle*."

"if I was ever in prison I'd quickly assert dominance by giving everyone a fabulous makeover"

"I once dated a strict Catholic from the south of Ireland I'll tell you what, you can take the girl out of Cork...."

"What's Dale Earnhardt's favorite Pink Floyd album? Dark side of the moon. You sick bastard."

"I entered the word bit*h into my GPS and guess what, I'm in your driveway!!"

"I heard that they're coming up with a new Tron movie which deals with particle physics... Its called new-Tron."

"Knock knock... Who's there? Poo. Poo who? POOYOUMOTHAFUCKKKKKKAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! /r/unexpectedthuglife"

"What did the snobby bird say to the poor bird? *Cheep, cheep.*"