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Joke of the Day

"[texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident."

"What's Obama say to Biden when he leaves the room after a argument? Good*bi-den*"

"There was a shooting at the Apple store last night. There were no iWitnesses."

"The only qualification for working at an airline is making a confused face at a monitor."

"Two nuns walk into a bar. The third nun ducks."

"What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive..."

"I really dislike the ""N"" word... I don't even like saying vinegar."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because of type advantage"

"What's a Yankee? It's like a quickie except you do it yourself."

"Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard."