68549

Joke of the Day

"I was in bed with a woman and she said, I want tonight to be magical And it was. After we had sex, I disappeared."

"What do you call a dinosaur with too much power? A tyrant-osaurus rex! &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; I'll see myself out..."

"What is China's favorite ice cream flavor? Licorice"

"This isn't a competition! -People who are losing"

"Mrs Jones: Now remember children travel is very good for you. It broadens the mind. Betty muttering: If you're anything to go by that's not all it broadens!"

"I like to make my websites with Ajax Because that way my designs always come out very clean."

"[showing my 4yo a Slinky] me: look, it's walking down the stairs kid: what else can it do me: literally nothing"

"I know you've been here. I can smell you, still taste you on my lips. I crave more, but it's over now. Also, you're a donut. And I ate you."

"I totally understand how batteries feel Because I'm rarely ever included in things either."

"*man gets run over by a red lorry, then a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry* *policeman informs family* ""There's no easy way to say this""..."