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Joke of the Day

"What the difference between What's the difference between a chick pea and lentil? I've never paid to have a lentil on me!"

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"Lightning never strikes twice in one place. Chuck Norris wont let it."
"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming. EDIT: Also, I don't want my time to go to waist. Courtesy of /u/Carter127"
"I thought I had lice. Then I remembered I was in an Asian restaurant."
"Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door? Me: Do you wanna watch? Nurse: *closes door*"
"I thought my friend was being serious when he was talking about rimjobs Turns out it was all tongue in cheek."
"Tom Brady will be suspended from his balls"
"Two cows standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly: ""I was artificially inseminated this morning."" ""I don't believe you,"" replies Dolly. ""It's true, no bull!"""
"After today the rest of the world will get ""FOUR MORE YEARS!"" without having to hear about the US election."
"A bit computer geeky I feel bad for kids being born these days their grandkids will never know what an IPv4 address is."
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