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Joke of the Day

"Look, if crying doesn't solve the problem, then maybe I'm just not the person you should be asking."

"Stop being so long ago, 1998."

"Jogging in place at a crosswalk makes you A) hole B) cool C) what I did there D) bag?"

"My friend said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at him."

"What kind of jacket would Michael J. Fox wear if he was black? [OC] A parka, son."

"What did the hookers hang on the christmas tree? Whore-naments"

"If things are going good, enjoy it, it won't last forever. If things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? I put on the wrong socks this morning."

"What do a sperm and a lawyer have in common? They each have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being."

"My urologist is weird. I peed in a cup. He drank it and said, ""You're fine."" Then he paid me. Don't choose a doctor from Craigslist."