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Joke of the Day

"why did the pacifist stay away from cows? To avoid unnecessary beef."

"[NSFW] A good crime sentence is... ...be made to fuck a ratchet"

"A boy with an elephant on his head went to see a doctor. The doctor said ""You know you really need help"" ""Yes I do"" said the elephant ""get this kid off my foot !"""

"What is hard to get from Straight men? Straight answers about relationships."

"Why do Egyptian warships have glass floors? So they can see their air force"

"What's long, green and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger."

"My friend wrote a joke on an egg and gave it to me to share with others. But I forgot and spoiled it."

"Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip? ...because lions only understand .rars"

"How awesome were the 50s? None of the girls had tramp stamps & you could smoke in hospitals."

"7yo: MOMMA DO YOU THINK YOU'LL EVER GET A 6-PACK OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA BE FAT Me: *slowly shreds Pokemon cards w/out breaking eye contact*"