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Joke of the Day

"Why did the liontamer stop using WinZip? ...because lions only understand .rars"

"The reason I have only broken 9 out of the 10 Commandments... ...is because I would have to be one sick and twisted individual to use the Lord's name in vain!"

"My new cooking show, ""Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food"" premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!"

"Recent Scientific Discovery: Diarrhea Is Genetic. It runs in your genes."

"What has gas, liquid and solids on it at the same time? Uranus."

"Girls are like dead babies... There's several in my basement"

"My weird paranoid neighbor, shreds all her mail and closes all the shades. But never locks her basement window."

"""Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you kidding me?"" -First thing I would say if someone raised me from the dead"

"Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac? They take things literally."

"Why do Japanese people squint? Nuclear explosions are bright"