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Joke of the Day

"Before emjois i had to end texts to my girlfriends with ""two girls holding hands* heart* kissy face* glass of wine* nail polish* red lips."""

"Nerdy Fairy Tale ""Grandmother, what big ears you have!"" ""Since I can't see you, I can at least hear you Infrared Ridinghood..."""

"What do you call a fake enemy? A faux!"

"My girlfriend told me that she has bronchitis. I wish I had a dinosaur."

"Did you know Trump nominated a deaf guy to the Presidential cabinet? Congress confirmed him without a hearing."

"I could tell you a joke about Bill Murray in Japan; it would be lost in translation."

"What do you call a man-eating tiger? A tiger."

"Wife: There's a spider in the kids' bedroom Me: I'll take care of it *raises spider like one of my own* *has a little cry when it graduates*"

"Q: Why do liberals travel in threes? A: One to read one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals."

"How many Nazis does it take to screw in a lightbulb?? One. He makes three Polacks do it at gunpoint."