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Joke of the Day

"What would you call a supervillain that could control every part of the electro-magnetic spectrum except 495-570 nm? Magento"

"What do you call a haughty criminal walking down the stairs? A condescending con descending."

"At first I didn't like having a beard But then it grew on me."

"How does one turn a fox into a pig?.. ...Marry her."

"Chuck Norris likes his ice like he likes his skulls: crushed."

"If a woman ever charges you with a knife in the kitchen, remain calm and open the fridge. Take out mayonnaise, cheese, and ham. Natural instincts will kick in and she will make you a sandwich instead."

"Whats the difference between a murder and Hamlet performed by geese? Nothing, they're both fowl play"

"I'd like to think inside your box."

"Why do the jews have such big noses? because air is free"

"I'm writing a television series which involves everyone smoking dope. It's a mellow drama."