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Joke of the Day

"Why did Medusa have to take sexual harassment training? Because she wouldn't stop objectifying people."

"A guy pissed off 7 bears and is getting chased! How do you describe the bears? Fast and Furious 7"

"*snail Olympics* How does it feel? ""Well it took 4 years but I finished the marathon"" And how will you prepare for it again tomorrow? ""What"""

"Financial Tip: When laundering money, always separate the bills from the coins and use the delicate cycle with a gentle detergent."

"These attacks in Paris were really terrible 13/11 never baguette"

"Who called it Osteoporosis and not Epic Frail?"

"When my doctor gives me a prostate exam I like to moan ""Mmmm, deeper."" Freaks him out, but not as much as when I try to cuddle afterward."

"What do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs? A condescendant con descending."

"What were the last words Jimi Hendrix said before he died? *S'cuse me, while I kiss the sky...*"

"I changed my iPod's name to ""The Titanic"". It's synching."