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Joke of the Day

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says ""Five beers, please"""

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"What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? ""Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."""
"You know what I hate about some of the jokes submitted to this sub? When people repeat the title in the description."
"An Australian man walked in on his girlfriend getting changed and she said ""Have you heard of knocking?"" He said ""It doesn't ring a bell"""
"I think the only girl I know that hasn't said ""you're like a brother to me"" is my sister."
"How many lives does a German cat have NEIN!"
"Do you want to hear a racist joke? Donald Trump"
"My dad told me his New Years resolution was to embrace his mistakes. He hugged my sister and I :("
"If I was a cop, I would write the word 'Influence' on a bridge, and pull over anyone that drives under it."
"If you read a text in front of the mirror three times, I will appear and help you analyze it."