55475

Joke of the Day

"Two blondes are waiting at a traffic light One says ""It's green."" The other ponders a few seconds, then replies ""A frog"""

"They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks... Well my wife's 70, with a face like the back of a bus, and last night I taught her to light her own farts."

"My ex had a really weird fetish... She would dress as herself and act like a fucking bitch all the time."

"Why does it see like fur is more hated than leather? Its easy to harass a 90lb aneroxic and walk away. It's a lot harder to do the same to the 250lb tattooed, long haired, biker."

"I saw a sign that said bad' the other day. I thought, that's not a good sign."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? ""What are you shakin' for? Shes gonna eat me."""

"A pirate walks into a bar... The bartender looks up and says ""Do you know you have a steering wheel sticking out of your butt?"" The pirate responds, ""Yarrr, its driving me nuts."""

"I bought a new boomerang... and went damn near crazy trying to throw the old one away!"

"A man asks his wife what she wants for Valentine's Day. ""I want you to get something that will make me look sexy,"" she says. So he goes shopping and returns home with a case of beer."

"What did the Jewish residents of Hiroshima shout when they saw the plane carrying the first atomic bomb? Enola - gai avek!"