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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a bitch and a slut? A slut will fuck everybody in the room a bitch will fuck everybody in the room, except for you."

"How do you starve a black man? Put his food stamps in his work boots."

"What did the sign in front of the Drug Rehabilitation Center say? Keep off the grass."

"Not to brag but I'm one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still gain a concerning amount of weight."

"A poem for Valentine's day Roses are red Poppies are red The grass is red Oh no my yard is on fire"

"What do you get when you sit under a cow? A pat on the head."

"Dammit Dad Dad: ""Whaddya got there, son?"" Son: ""Soy milk."" Dad: -pauses- ""Hola milk, soy tu padre."""

"I never trust a Tom. They are far too often involved in foolery or peeping for my liking."

"My cat's tongue is like a little piece of sandpaper. I'm scratched to hell but this floor is almost finished."

"Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day"