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Joke of the Day
"My son plays this game where he's a bowling ball and the bowling pins are everything we own."
Next Joke
"I went to Russia, met a guy called Vladislav * **Baby, don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more.**"
"My superpower is being able to talk to dead people... they can't talk back, though."
"A proton walks into a bar ... Tells the bartender, ""You don't serve my kind here"". ""Really ?!"", asks the bartender. ""I'm positive""."
"ME: I'm not voting for anyone CLINTON: that's a vote for Trump! TRUMP: that's a vote for Clinton! ME: looks like I'm voting twice then"
"I tried Haggis for the first time today... It tasted offal!"
"I made a joke about Kim Jong-Un [Removed]"
"Best thing about being a hermit? No peer pressure."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? [chokes]"
"Shout out to the ampersand for always being willing to stand in the gap & help make our tweets complete by giving back those extra two lette"