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Joke of the Day

"A proton walks into a bar ... Tells the bartender, ""You don't serve my kind here"". ""Really ?!"", asks the bartender. ""I'm positive""."

"Co-worker: Did you see that play in the Super Bowl? Worst decision ever. Me: Really? Aren't you married?"

"A simple smile can brighten someone's day... ...but a wide-eyed, toothy lunatic smile can keep them up all night."

"I'm a Mime rapper I call myself Gnat. Cause I'm a silent G."

"Lubricant?? ... Lubri-CAN!!!"

"You have to compliment boobs like a Christmas tree If they're real, tell them they look fake. If they're fake, tell them they look real"

"why cant Paul Walker use tumblr? He only sticks to the dashboard"

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because the one that had a dream got shot!"

"How many pancakes can you fit into a dog house? None because ice cream doesn't have bones."

"How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Hippies only screw in tents."