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Joke of the Day
"I'm currently standing in the 12 items or less line, holding 16 items, freaking the fuck out."
Next Joke
"I can be a real tiger in bed. No, wait, wait... What's that animal that plays dead?"
"Legos Are Like Boobs They're meant for the kids, but the dad ends up playing with them."
"What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror? Han Double"
"son: hey dad me: [picks up phone, dials 9] yes son: now don't get mad me: [dials 1] ok son: do we have a fire extinguisher me: [dials 1]"
"These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant."
"A shout out to all of the beautiful women who don't need to dress trashy to attract a man..... But party at my place for all those who do"
"A set of jump leads walk into a bar... The barman looks at them, and says, ""Alright, I'll serve you, just don't start anything."""
"I have a bad feeling I'll be wearing one of those barrels with suspenders by the end of the year, but not in a fun, whimsical way."
"Scientists analysed sweat samples of 100 regular KFC visitors. 11 secrete herbs and spices"