137450

Joke of the Day

"I had to file a sexual harassment claim against a squirrel in the park yesterday... ...he wouldn't stop trying to grab my nut sack."

"I just got an eyelash in my eye and I'm yelling at it cuz it's supposed to prevent this shit from happening like, ""YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB."""

"Punny Jokes Penicillin is worth its weight in mold. "

"I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night... He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*."

"Last requests After I die, I have 2 requests on what shall happen to me. 1) I want my remains spread around Disney world. 2) I do not wish to be cremated"

"What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na"

"Tell me your best ""When is a --- not a ---?"" joke I'll start you off: When is a door not a door? > When it's ajar! When are eyes not eyes? > When the wind makes them water!"

"Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft."

"I like to put my passengers as ease by pointing out where all the airbags are. Ending the safety message with ""Just in case I crash again"""

"My girlfriend once used Vaseline when she gave me a handjob . . I came four or five times trying to wash it off."