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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend caught me masturbating to Michael Jackson. She asked what I was doing I told her to beat it."

"What did the /r/science mod say to the user? [removed]"

"fat people https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/2uje2o/how_to_lose_weight_fast/?submit_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DzfOy5Ghv9rM&already_submitted=true"

"If your cat is your ""child,"" I bet its ""grandparents"" are ""sad"""

"It's okay when Daisy Duck walks around in high heels and with no pants on but when I do it people are all ""this is a church, young lady."""

"Why should you never run over a black kid on a bike? Because it's probably your bike..."

"The worst kind of human contact is ""eye contact through that crack in a bathroom stall when you're pulling up your pants"" contact."

"What do you call a midget clown that juggles? A Juggalo"

"Throughout the history of espionage, the phrase ""We have ways of making you talk."" Has yet to be used on a woman."

"When someone tries to tell me they can't do something, I'm like ""you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"""