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Joke of the Day
"I'm not saying you're an idiot, I'm typing it."
Next Joke
"Wife: DO YOU KNOW WHAT TODAY IS? Husband: ? *Wife storms out room* Husband: Happy Valsenbirthery?!"
"Me: You're such a good boy. Dog: *tail wagging* Please leave the room so I can eat the couch."
"*purposely chooses network with most dropped calls*"
"You want just one cow for those magic beans? Idk, I'm suspicious, magic beans sounds like the sort of thing that would cost 2 cows."
"Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy? He was too far out man!"
"Who's this Rorschach guy... And why does he paint so many penises?"
"When a newly married woman smiles, all know why, but when a ten-years married woman smiles, all wonder why."
"SON: Is it true trees kill more people than wild animals do? [tree hiding in broom closet tenses up] DAD: Nonsense. [tree sighs in relief]"
"Fact: 9/10 people enjoy date rape"