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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the sequel to Snakes on a Plane with giant, poisonous centipedes? It got cancelled. There wasn't enough legroom."

"How do you know accountants have no imagination? They named a firm PricewaterhouseCoopers."

"2 deer walk into a bar An hour later they walk out and one says to the other, ""Man, I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there."""

"Q: Why was the blonde confused after giving birth to twins? A: She couldn't figure out who the other mother was."

"Why are there no white chinese people? It's because two Wongs don't make a white."

"What's the difference between a Mexican and an elevator? An elevator can raise a family I'll just see myself out."

"I'm still disappointed that The Phantom Menace was never nominated for an Academy Award... ...for Best Animated Film."

"please stop yelling. I put the cucumber slices on your baby's eyes because they looked puffy."

"I could be subtweeting my cat for all you know. Calm down."

"Keep your coworkers on their feet by beginning your next e-mail with ""If you're reading this, I'm already dead."""