13718

Joke of the Day

"Today is the day I release the coyote I trained on Windows 95 back into the wild."

"Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though."

"Every time I click on AMAs That's all the time we have, thanks everyone!"

"I gotta hand it to Stephen Hawking because he can't catch."

"Sir, on a scale of 1 to drunk, where would you say you stand? I'll sit"

"Man walks into a bar... ...with a piece of tarmac under his arm, says to the barman 'give us a pint and one for the road...'"

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Do you remember that barbeque you had? The one where I had my meat all up on your grill?!?!?!"

"I had to go into the Dr's today for a regular check up, & I get in there & he pulls down my pants & started jamming his finger in my ass... Yea I guess it's time for a new dentist"

"Australians don't have any problems with gender pronouns... Because we call everyone cunt."