132024
Joke of the Day
"I just found out a distant relative of mine has eaten three people. It's a lot to digest..."
Next Joke
"Everybody says waking up at 5 in the morning to exercise makes you feel great but I think lying in bed for another 2 hours feels better."
"What do you call a train with no motivation A Loco-no-motive"
"I watched Transformers today. I've spent the last 2 hours in my garage telling my car I know his secret. He's shy."
"For such a picky eater, I'm certainly not a picky weight gainer."
"I had a break-through this morning... I should probably buy thicker toilet paper."
"I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal."
"If you like to speak in different languages while high off marijuana, you're probably Rosetta Stoned."
"How are lawyers and apples similar? They both look good hanging from a tree"
"What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet? Swiping and wiping."