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Joke of the Day

"Baby showers are fun until someone has too much champagne and starts a plastic knife fight over a corner piece of cake. I need a ride home."

"What do you a zombie eating ice cream? Braaaaaaiiiiiiin freeze"

"What does an egg say when he gets turnt? Om lit cred: my friend DaMexicanBurrito from playstation."

"New drinking game: Every time Senator Bernie Sanders proposes something free, chug someone else's beer."

"Q: Where do baby cows go to eat lunch? A: At the calf-eteria."

"Jokes about the handicapped aren't funny No one knows what it's like to not walk a mile in their shoes."

"Interviewer: [looking through file] Are you still disruptive at nap time? Me: Wow, they weren't kidding about that permanent record thing."

"Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day."

"Help, I just sunk the wrong submarine and I need legal advice Whoops! Wrong sub."

"Did you hear about the brake pedal who had to leave his job? He had to stop when he got depressed"