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Joke of the Day

"Baby showers are fun until someone has too much champagne and starts a plastic knife fight over a corner piece of cake. I need a ride home."

"Do you like raisin bran? Well, it's a good thing you adopted him then, but don't be surprised if he turns out to be a cereal killer..."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. Knock Knock. ""Who's there?"" The chicken."

"The corner of this table hurt me and made me cry, so now we're dating"

"How do people see so much on internet these days? They put on the Google!"

"In light of recent events... ...I believe Adrian Peterson should start playing Major League Baseball. He'd be a great *switch* hitter."

"What do you call an arrogant convict coming down the stairs? A condescending con, descending."

"Would you watch a turkey dance? No, but I'd watch a chicken strip."

"Whenever you see a sword swallower perform, it makes you wonder what sort of activities they used to do to make them realize they had this talent."

"Why can't you tell when a pterodactyl is going to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent."