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Joke of the Day

"Apparently shouting out ""he has a gun"" isn't the best way to let everyone in the bank know that you see the security guard. I know this now."

"What do all 'Tickle Me Elmo' toys receive before leaving the factory? Two test tickles."

"What does a necrophiliac say to confess his love for someone? ""You're dead to me"""

"Did you know the Bible forbids sunbathing in Greece? That means it is a sin to go to Cos and get a tan."

"What's the difference between a magicians wand and a policeman's baton? A magicians wand is used for cunning stuns."

"My girl broke up with me, thinks I am childish. So, I calmed down. Took a deep breath. Went to her house. Rang the doorbell and ran away..HA!"

"Some Days I Wake Up Grumpy Some days I let him sleep."

"What's the coolest kind of surgery? Hip surgery."

"How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit it in the face with an axe."

"The only thing Bill Cosby did wrong was pudding. ...pudding his dick where it doesn't belong."