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Joke of the Day
"What do you a zombie eating ice cream? Braaaaaaiiiiiiin freeze"
Next Joke
"A wife comes home and says, ""Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"" The guy says, ""Great darling. Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"" She says, ""I don't care, get out!"""
"When flying to Prague... ...all of your bags are Czeched"
"I gave my girlfriend a birthday celebration that lasted only half a minute After all, it was her thirty second birthday."
"The only folks who put them passwords on that fancy wi-fi internets is terrorists. This is Merica, land of the free."
"Things I'm never going to do: - Give you up - Let you down - Run around - Desert you - Make you cry - Say goodbye - Tell a lie - Hurt you"
"Why are there so many avenues in Belgium? Because German soldiers like to march in the shadow."
"My girlfriend accused me of sleeping with her sister and I was like, ""How can that be possible when her snoring keeps me up all night?"""
"Life tip - buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of wine and people will think it's a gift. You are welcome."
"What do you call it when wolves get bad breath? Howl-itosis."