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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a retired comedian? Comedy mold."

"What happens when you step on an oily asian? Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope."

"When used as directed, Axe Body Spray makes a good substitute for tear gas."

"[job interview] ""Tell me one of your weaknesses"" I can be very stubborn ""Will you please elaborate?"" I will not"

"How many Tourette's syndrome sufferers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Damn fuck shit screw you dickhead just one asshole twat cocksucker."

"One time I got so nervous when a guy took off his pants in front of me I said ""friggity diggity"" please do not rt"

"There is a tribe in Africa that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?"

"Nothing warms the heart more than a father teaching his son how to clear his history."

"What did one deer say to the other after leaving the bar? I can't believe you just blew 50 bucks in there"

"The other day my dessert looked like it was undressing me with it's eyes... It was a total crepe."