137065

Joke of the Day

"Q: How is a thief like a thermometer on a hot day? A: They are both up to something."

"*brings donuts to work* Co-worker: I have a gluten allergy, so I have to watch what I eat. Me: Cool, then you can WATCH me eat this donut."

"My pics are real. I don't use any filters. I don't even use coffee filters. I eat coffee straight outta the container like a man"

"Poor Product Name Power equipment manufacturer Stihl recently developed a baby harness. They're calling it the Stihl Bjorn. So far, the only order placed has been by Rick Santorum."

"I made a bet with the butcher that he couldn't reach the meat on the top shelf...... .......He refused as the STEAKS were too high!!"

"Good friends are like bottles of sweet wine .. that's why I keep mine locked in the cellar."

"Why was the surfer such a bad cook? All he could handle was the microwave"

"Why does everyone care who Tom Brady voted for? What we really wanna know is who Ja Rule voted for. WHERE IS JA?!"

"Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."

"What's a drug lord woman called? A drug lady? A heroin heroine?!"