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Joke of the Day

"When I first met your mom, I fell in love with her because she had a kind face... The kind of face I want to fuck the shit out of!"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Him: why did the chicken cross the road? Her: I don't know. Him: to go to the shops. Do you think that's funny? Her: No. Him: neither did the chicken."

"I've never been wrong Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken."

"(JOKE) What does a light bulb filled with gas?"

"If you play Stairway to Heaven backwards does it become Highway to Hell?"

"My granddad has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the Edinburgh zoo."

"How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb? None - because they would all be replaced by white actors."

"If my third grade teacher hasn't taught me that little rhyme about spelling.... I'd still be spelling cieling and nieghbor wrong."

"You never have to worry about Starbucks running short on coffee. I hear they always have a latte"

"A feminist asked for my name I said I'm Hugh Mungus"