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Joke of the Day
"Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."
Next Joke
"What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn? They default in our stars"
"I'm not a looser just because my pants are not loser. Your a looser because you're pants are loser. Don't think your better then me."
"The bartender says ""sorry, we don't serve time travellers here"" A time traveller walks into a bar."
"A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work."
"Peter Parker was lucky that radioactive spider bit his hand not his ass or he'd have shot out web every time he farted."
"Today at 8:24 PM it will be 7/16/15 8:24. That is the only time this year such a thing will happen"
"Dora the explorers parents don't give any kind of shit about Dora. She's 7 and she's flying planes and shit to South America with a monkey!"
"This guy tried to sell me a casket. I told him, ""well, that's the *last* thing I'm gonna need."""
"BLACK WIDOW: help I think my husband is dead 911: did u murder him? BLACK WIDOW: uh 911: ma'am BLACK WIDOW: *quietly hangs up the phone*"