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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg in a car accident? He's alright, though."

"I should never read tweets at work because I laugh out loud and everyone asks what's funny and I have to say this excel spreadsheet."

"Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber."

"New Viagra Product !! Viagra now available in powder form to put in tea... It does nothing for erections but stops your Biscuits from getting soft and falling into the tea..!!"

"Did you hear about the fly stuck on the toilet bowl? He got pissed off."

"Guy on phone telling gf he's bringing her a HUGE bouquet b/c 'she deserves the best'. Hilariously, he was peeing at a urinal the whole time."

"What does a cow use to solve math problems? A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun."

"Yo mama so fat I slap her booty before she goes to work. When she comes home, it still wiggles."

"Cauliflower is just broccoli ghosts."

"Nobody questions me when I watch a NSFW video at work because I'm a porn movie editor"