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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama so fat I slap her booty before she goes to work. When she comes home, it still wiggles."
Next Joke
"How did the blind man know Santa was in his house? He felt his presents."
"Patient: Doctor! Doctor! My mouth tastes like the bottom of a birdcage! Dentist: Yes, I can see there's been a cockatoo in there."
"I have such a bad cold that when I breathe through my nose, it sounds like Marge Simpson sighing/expressing disapproval."
"Did you hear the latest joke about Baltimore? It's a riot"
"You're the only one who understands me, last remaining sleeve of Oreo cookies."
"Donald Trump if elected President will change the name of his plane Hair Force One"
"*at a pizza buffet in the Midwest* Me: excuse me, can you please make a vegetarian pizza? Him: Sure! What kind of meat do you want on that?"
"If you pronounce gullible very slowly it sounds like you're saying green bears."
"You can't choose your family but you can choose a hitman."