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Joke of the Day

"God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve, but He probably hired Steve to help decorate the garden."

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"What happens when you put a soul-singing duck in a microwave? It's Bill Withers."
"Judge: Are you married? A. No I'm divorced. Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him? A. A lot of things I didn't know about."
"I don't have a solution, but I do admire the problem."
"Death is coming to take a lawyer away The lawyer is weeping, ""why now? I am only fourty!"" Death replies, ""not according to the hours you billed your clients""."
"What do you call a lamppost in Niger? Progress."
"We had a muslim friend.. Who was always late to the class. We used to call him 9/12. Edit: he is still my best friend."
"i'll never forget what my Grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket ""Grandson... how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"TIFU by complimenting a co-worker's womanly hips. Get over it, Steve."
"Where do SJWs belong? In an oven."