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Joke of the Day

"We had a muslim friend.. Who was always late to the class. We used to call him 9/12. Edit: he is still my best friend."

"Margaret Thatcher Said ""If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman."" If you want nothing said or done.. Ask a cat."

"What do you call a cheating wife with a runny nose? FULL!!"

"What does a taxidermist do for a living? Oh you know... stuff..."

"The weather is so hot that it gave me the wrong phone number."

"Unfortunately, but sometimes a woman can't find herself a man. She doesn't like the drunken ones, and the sober ones doesn't like her."

"Whats the difference? Between a large pizza and a black father. A large pizza can feed a family of four."

"I just read that the average person spends 2 weeks waiting for a traffic light to change. Fuck that. I'd run it after 3 or 4 minutes tops."

"Chuck Norris doesn't own a can opener, he just chews through the can."

"What are the only two similarities between my favorite buger joint, and the orgy I just had? Nothing but Five Guys, extra salty EDIT: Also, I can't type. Burger*"