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Joke of the Day

"Dad: Do you know Dop Ted? Son: What's Dop Ted? Dad: You are! Son: Good one, Dad! Dad: I'm not your dad! \_()_/ "

"If it's so good why can't I find a single car wash that carries the Brazilian wax thingy you guys keep tweeting about?"

"Light beer is like having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water"

"Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say."

"Why was the skunk angry? He was incensed!"

"Drugs are never the answer kids. Unless the question is ""why have you been checking under the carpet for lizards for 3 days straight?"""

"Where do snowmen go to dance ? Snowballs !"

"April showers bring May flowers, but what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"Meaningless statistics are up 17% today"

"I don't mind showing up to work But this 8 hour wait to go home is bullshit."