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Joke of the Day

"If it's so good why can't I find a single car wash that carries the Brazilian wax thingy you guys keep tweeting about?"

"What's your favorite thing about earth? It's just got such a great atmosphere."

"I have one friend who is very creepy and intense and whenever we take a photo together all I can think is ""this will be on Dateline someday"""

"The real difference between jelly and jam. I can't jelly my dick in your butt."

"DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A COP Ok, now that there are definitely no cops reading this...I'm trying to find some cocaine for this weekend guys"

"Why is the book ""Women Who Love Too Much"" a disappointment for many men? No phone numbers."

"Why don't old people like tennis? There's too much racket"

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might me a little to get hard, I just got laid by some chick. EDIT: ""take me a little while"""

"Jokes in English Doctor: ""I'm sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live."" Patient: ""What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!"" Doctor: ""Nine."""

"Why do java programmers need to wear glasses? Because they can't C#!"