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Joke of the Day

"Make a horror film less scary by putting old timey words in the title, i.e. The Thingamabob, Jason Goes To Heck or The Hills Have Peepers."

"What do you call a Hebrew that lives in the Alpines? A Mountain Jew."

"Monica Lewinski Will Not Vote for Hillary Clinton The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth."

"Everyone's awkward shines a little brighter on an elevator."

"A skeleton walks into a bar... and he says to the bartender... ""Give me a beer and give me a mop!"""

"A nun who was known to smoke a pack a day just recently quit her habit. Now she just smokes naked."

"A barman is complaining about all the weird customers he's been getting lately... Then a half naked man walks in with a huge number 19 tattooed on his body. ""There... that's a prime example"""

"How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. But it takes about 8-10 visits."

"Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Things I learned from media: Sanders has won a bunch of states but must drop out Rubio shows he's a contender by losing nearly everywhere"