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Joke of the Day

"[spending entire date hiding the fact I'm really a beaver] ""ow"" what's wrong? ""I got a splinter"" may I see? ""I guess so"" delicious ""pardon?"""

"What do you call a blind deer? No eye deer! What do you call a blind deer without legs? Still no eye deer!"

"What is a jockey's motto? Put your money where your mount is!"

"What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on a chin? A dick in your mouth"

"Daddy, is Santa coming tonight? No sweetie, mommy has a headache."

"What do you call a teacher who doesn't flatulate in public. A private tutor. -Credits to my cousin ;)"

"Poor onions I cried when my Dad sliced Onions. I missed Onions. He was a good dog."

"I'm through making Alzheimer's jokes guys I just don't know why I liked making them anymore"

"Confessions A man goes to a priest and says : ""Father i have sinned a lot lately. I hustled some money from a Jew"". The priest answers :""Son that's not a sin, it's a MIRACLE ! """

"Two newborns are having a conversation... 1: You look worried. What's wrong? 2: It's about my Dad. 1: What about him? 2: I saw him with Mom last night. I think he's stealing my milk."