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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker? One of them starts a religion after it gets nailed."

"What was Beethoven's favorite food? BA-NA-NA-NAAA!!!!! (to the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)"

"I bet the worst part about being a birthday cake is when you're set on fire, and then eaten by the hero that saved you."

"Never trust a vegetarian who eats animal crackers"

"I was at Redbox, but I didn't know what to watch. I consulted my groceries, and my pizza said, ""Keep Frozen."""

"If a tree falls down in the woods and nobody is around to hear it... Then hipsters would buy the soundtrack."

"I'm pretty sure that the guy who wrote about the Apocalypse was a meteorologist."

"I'm not all that interested in Astronomy but, I really dig Uranus."

"(For Ents) So the D.E.A filed a report So the D.E.A filed a report about the Old lady who swallowed the Fly. Turns out Flies are a Gateway Bug"

"My mule is pretty lazy... ... Always doing half-assed work."