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Joke of the Day
"What is a childs's favourite type of Halloween candy? Lots a candy."
Next Joke
"Instagram says it now can sell your pics without your permission. Good luck making money with pictures of Cups of coffee, Cupcakes & clouds."
"Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means"
"In regards to the Noah movie: Make sure you take someone with you, I heard they're only selling tickets in pairs."
"The first rule of Chinese Whispers Club is... ...don't talk about Tiny Whiskers Grub"
"Did you hear that the BBC have sacked Bob the Builder? They feel they can no longer trust a children's TV star who claims to be able to 'fix it'"
"[Being murdered while eating a salad] Please sir will you stab the spinach out of my teeth don't let them find me like this"
"Who the friggin hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere. You just let one into your home and it becomes your cat."
"What was the physicist's favorite football team? The Houston Eulers."
"We get it poets: things are like other things"