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Joke of the Day

"I just sold some Viagra to a guy who thought it was Adderall. He's going to have a very hard test tomorrow."

"Alright, alright. You can all have jet packs! [two days later] Reporter: Another 8000 dead today due to sky rage."

"Ghosts... I didn't believe in ghosts until this one night, it was like 3 am, and I decided to start believing in ghosts."

"Why is owning a dog better than being in a relationship? My dog can't tell people when I beat it."

"""Let me be clear"" the sliding glass door said as I face planted it."

"I'm getting my hacked GTAV account back! Said no one"

"Countdown is Dracula's retarded brother."

"Hate when the cop is like, ""Sir, have you been petting kittens?"" and I say, ""I petted a few..."" as I open the car door and kittens spill out"

"What do mormons and tweakers have in common? They both ride bikes and are on a mission."

"What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baa"