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Joke of the Day

"""I finally caught up with my son."" ""That's good. Progress. How did it go?"" ""Badly. I cut off his hand THEN told him."" - Vader & therapist"

"what's 6 inches long 2 inches wide and drives a woman wild? money"

"<-----Will never confess the actual number of house cats he's forced outdoors when the owner wasn't looking"

"He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?"

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? America can't milk a cow for 15 years."

"Who was King Author's most well rounded Knight? Sir Cumference."

"Why can't women read maps? Only the male mind can comprehend the concept of one inch equaling a mile."

"The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and says ""can you make me one with everything?"" After he received the pizza, he waited. ""Where's my change?"" ""Ah, change comes from within."""

"why did the spy cross the road because he never really was on your side hold your applause."

"What does Fozzie the Bear do when he can't find a ride? Walk-a Walk-a"