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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said she would leave me if I did't stop singing The Monkee's. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer."

"What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? Quatro sinko"

"I wonder why the ingredients on a snickers wrapper says ""May contain almonds."" What, is the guy who drops in the almonds a slacker?"

"Mathematically speaking.. The average person is mean. :-)"

"I caught my employee sleeping on my office couch today. I didn't know if I should fire him, or tell him what I did on it last night."

"Have you heard about these new super-sensitive condoms? After the man leaves, they hang around and talk to the woman."

"How do you know if Helen Keller just masturbated? She spits when she talks."

"I was playing with my new toaster in the bathtub today when I read the warning label and it said not to. I was shocked."

"My wife asked me what I wanted to do for Easter So I told her ""The same thing Jesus did. Disappear on Friday and come back on Sunday."""

"What do you call a Pakistani music group? A tali-band."