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Joke of the Day

"*slips a 20* How about a private dance ""Okay let's go"" *heads to private room* ""You ready?"" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*"

"It's okay to joke about Jesus... He died for our zings."

"My wife asked me to play doctor with her... ...she is now waiting for three hours in front of the bedroom."

"What is an alcoholic's favorite part of the chicken? The Cock Tail"

"I just bumped into my old headmistress who said how weird it is to see me all grown up now. Surely it would be weirder if I was still 9."

"Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook."

"My grandfather told me that teenagers have become so lazy because of technology. ""They're not the only ones,"" I said, looking at his mobility scooter."

"The first thing I always do when a cop pulls me over is remind him he can't arrest me without a warrant so he knows he's dealing with a pro."

"When I see you, I'm a 10... On the [Mohs scale](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_scale_of_mineral_hardness#Minerals)."

"Have you guys heard of the joke about the electric chair? It's shocking."