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Joke of the Day

"*slips a 20* How about a private dance ""Okay let's go"" *heads to private room* ""You ready?"" Oh hell yeah *we both do the cha cha slide*"

"*Cinderella drops her glass slipper* Prince: I have a girlfriend."

"What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium? He got atomic ache."

"Why aren't there any pedophiles in Japan? Because they learned what happens when you touch a little boy."

"What does an amoeba call its friend? Cell mate."

"5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world."

"I eat the free samples at Costco for lunch every day. I'm adding 'enjoys eating out' to my dating profile."

"HR: Sir, why is your secretary standing with tens of underwear in hand? Boss: Damn, I asked her to debrief all the interns before the meeting."

"A guy calls his wife to say he's had an accident at the factory He says, ""I got my finger cut off!"" She asks, ""The whole finger?"" He replies, ""No, the one next to it."""

"Mexican Carpet layer. What does a Mexican put under his carpet? Underlay! Underlay!"